A learned divine down at Buckingham,
Wrote a treatise on cunts and on fucking ’em;
A learned Parsee,
Taught him Gamahuchee,
So he added a chapter on sucking ’em.
- The Pearl
"To lie with her carnally would have been wrong, as my brother had not permitted it, so I governed my love by the holy rules of moderation and virtue, and contented myself with merely fucking her in the arse."
— The Pearl
I have so many horny friends
Success Success Success
I am a stud
"Any book has behind it all the other books that have been written. "
— Anthony Burgess (via theparisreview)
"They looked upon him, as painters often do writers, with contempt because he was a layman, with tolerance because he practised an art, and with awe because he used a medium in which themselves felt ill-at-ease."
— W. Somerset Maugham, Of Human Bondage
Sex with me includes hours of dirty story telling
I’m afraid women will have to get used to the fact that men, on the whole, are not very bright.
"He had a great idea that one should stick to whatever one had begun. Like all weak men he laid an exaggerated stress on not changing one’s mind."
— W. Somerset Maugham, Of Human Bondage
"He shuddered; he felt suddenly that he never wanted to see her again; he could not bear the thought of kissing her. He was horrified with himself. Was that love?"
— W. Somerset Maugham, Of Human Bondage
"Cleopatra was forty-eight when Antony threw away the world for her sake."
— W. Somerset Maugham, Of Human Bondage
"It is an illusion that youth is happy, an illusion of those who have lost it; but the young know they are wretched, for they are full of the truthless ideals which have been instilled into them, and each time they come in contact with the real they are bruised and wounded. It looks as if they were victims of a conspiracy; for the books they read, ideal by the necessity of selection, and the conversation of their elders, who look back upon the past through a rosy haze of forgetfulness, prepare them for an unreal life. They must discover for themselves that all they have read and all they have been told are lies, lies, lies; and each discovery is another nail driven into the body on the cross of life. The strange thing is that each one who has gone through that bitter disillusionment adds to it in his turn, unconsciously, by the power within him which is stronger than himself."
— W. Somerset Maugham, Of Human Bondage
"Criticism is purely destructive; anyone can destroy, but not everyone can build up. … The important thing is to construct: I am constructive; I am a poet."
— W. Somerset Maugham, Of Human Bondage
"He was so young, he did not realise how much less is the sense of obligation in those who receive favours than in those who grant them."
— W. Somerset Maugham, Of Human Bondage
"Of course schools are made for the average. The holes are all round, and whatever shape the pegs are they must wedge in somehow. One hasn’t time to bother about anything but the average."
— W. Somerset Maugham, Of Human Bondage
